My Bride Guide {The Essentials}

posted on : January 19, 2020 posted by : Melody 0 Comment

Hey gals! I know it is engagement season and I have seen some pretty rings on my feed recently! Congrats to all of the lovely ladies who are going to say I Do! this is such an exciting time, but can also be easily overwhelming! So I decided to pull together a little “bride guide” for you all. This will touch on the steps you need to cover as far as timeframe, as well as advice on making decisions, décor, and more <3 So grab your wine and let’s dive in, shall we?

Step 1: Make A Spreadsheet of Budget/ Do- To list

For me, this was something that helped us by far! I am an accountant, so being able to manage expenses, plug in what we planned to spend by category, making sure to log what we have spent as we did, and check off things on the to-do list was essential. My advice is to break up your categories like so, and have a general estimate of what you can spend. (below is a general breakdown of prices you may expect to spend on some categories based in SC)

Venue $3,500- $4,500
Rentals $1,000
Caterer $1,800
Honeymoon/flights $2,000- $4,000
Dress $1,000- $2,000
Décor $1,000
Florals $1,000- $2,000
Invites, Saves the Dates $200- $300
Photographer $2,000
Videographer $2,000

From here, you can then narrow down the things that are most important to you. Ex. You may not want to spend this much on a dress, so you find a boutique that is having a sale, or you may find that real flowers can be mixed with artificial and have the same look and save major bucks. Or even you don’t want to pay a florist, so instead you order your flowers from Fifty Flowers like I did, and do DIY bouquets, corsages, arbor, and reception yourself -see pics below-

Whatever the case may be, this puts things into perspective and is key to evaluate based on what you can afford, what you can do yourself vs. paying someone else to do, and what is ultimately important to you and your fiancé. This can also be used a time management tool for paying everything off in time.

Ex. Venue and Honeymoon may be the most expensive things, so you can tackle paying some on those first. Always keep an eye on the bigger expenses and pay as you go, so you are not left with a big chuck that needs to be paid last minute. If you pay gradually, you will also notice less savings coming out all at once, which is a big relief! (Long engagements definitely help with this as well!) And most importantly, don’t go into debt for a wedding! Remember the real reason for the day- the union of you and your love. Don’t get lost in the “perfect day” expectations- The rest of this is just extra.

Step 2: Choose a Venue/Place

Okay girls, I know you may be itching to go search for a dress, but this step is so important. Choosing a venue will basically determine your wedding date, believe it or not! Venues are usually already booked up a year or even more in advance. When searching for a venue, I suggest researching some on theknot.com. Here you can search by the location as well as the price. You can also inquire with venues to get more information on pricing and tours. I suggest having a location (distance wise) in mind, then touring at least 3 venues that FIT INTO YOUR BUDGET. For me, I toured 3 that were within an hour of my home, as I did a location that was still semi-local. Also remember when you are touring, you should take a lot of pictures, and have a list of questions that will help you decide. For me, I knew I wanted an outdoor ceremony with a guest list of 100-130, but needed a backup plan incase it were to rain. Don’t be afraid to ask questions like:

1. How many people can this venue accommodate?

2. Do tables/chairs/linens come with the venue, or do you have to rent them separately?

3. Do you have to have the venue cleared by a certain time?

4. What are my options if I want an outdoor ceremony, but the weather is bad?

For me, Wildberry Farm checked a major box with #4, where we planned to have an outdoor ceremony, but knew that the Atkinson house would still be beautiful and a quick transition incase of rain! (see pics- the ceremony was at the pond, but the Atkinson House is the white house in the background, beautiful and easy transition if needed! <3)

Step 3: Decide on vendors, and put down deposits

Very very important, just like a venue fills up fast, so do your photographers, caterers, etc.. This is why you need to decide what you can afford, then inquire with the vendors and get your date locked in asap. I would also read reviews of the vendors to make sure they are reliable! The last thing you want is having to deal with a faulty vendor on your wedding day. So get someone you trust, has good reviews, fits your budget, and your vibe.

Note: Also converse with your photographer to see when they can do engagement photos if you are doing them, that way you could have them in time to put on save the dates if you want!

Step 4: Determine a guest list, and STICK WITH IT

By now, I am sure you have a general idea of who you would like to be in/at your wedding, but there is always pressure to invite the ones who aren’t so close to you. This is probably one of the most stressful parts, as well as RSVPS. My advice to you is to talk with your partner and gather a list of CLOSE family and friends that you have actually interacted with in the last year. Have a number in mind for your list, and try not to stray away. Ultimately, this decision is up to you and does have a major impact on sticking to the budget. Don’t let someone else’s opinion make you break the bank or jeopardize your happiness on your big day.

Step 5: Think Honeymoon

Okay, so this is the fun part. After all of the anxiety from your big day- just think about how you want to celebrate and relax away with your love. Is it somewhere tropical, a cruise, or peaceful mountains? Ahhh.. okay- back to reality here. lol I would say to choose where you want to go, and research different resorts that give you the most bang for your buck. Another factor: Plane tickets! Yes, the resort you are looking into may be great, but it is crazy how much plane tickets can be to get there, so don’t forget to factor those prices into your decision. You can’t book a plane ticket until around 180 days from your departure, but you can get a good estimate of the price by plugging in dates during your season. For us, we LOVED Sandals All-Inclusive resort in Jamaica! And they also had the option of paying as much or as little as you wanted, as long as the whole balance was paid in full by a month before your honeymoon dates. This was something we paid as we went, mentioned above. Also if you are going out of the country, once you book the honeymoon, I would go ahead and start the process for getting/updating your passports if need be.

Step 6: Vision Board (Your Dress, Bridesmaids, Groomsmen, Ceremony, etc.)

I’m sure most of you are guilty of having a secret wedding Pinterest board, yep I know you do. And that is totally okay! I sure did haha and it gave me so much inspiration and helped me build what vibe I wanted for our day. By looking, I got a good idea of how I wanted the ceremony, the bridesmaids to look, and an overall theme kind of evolved into a rustic, bohemian vibe that I fell in love with! From your board, you can then use this to search for fitting décor, finding your dress and well as your bridesmaids, and much more! (You can check out my wedding Pinterest board by clicking my Pinterest button for some inspo 🙂 )

Step 7: Let’s Get that Dress Baby

Now the part you have been waiting for- trying on dresses!!! This process was a little longer for me that I thought it would be, but I ended up finding the perfect dress for me with time. I definitely would start looking for your dress at least 10 months before your big day, because depending on the designer, it can take months to come in, then fittings if needed. Research some places on theknot.com, and you can also refer to my “How I said Yes to the Dress” Blog Post under my wedding tab! If you are in SC or NC, there are several bridal shops that I highly recommend in that post!

I would also say the same timing should go for your bridesmaid dresses as well as groomsmen. I suggest Show Me Your Mumu for beautiful bridesmaid dresses! You can also order swatches of the colors to make sure it matches good before your girls order their dresses. As for the guys, it may be like pulling teeth to get them straight ha, but the sooner the better! lol I suggest going with your fiancé to pick out what you all are thinking, finalize it with the store, then him and the guys go back around 3 months before to get sized/rentals ordered. For ties, we ordered them off of The Tie Bar and gave them as groomsmen gifts, how neat! (bridesmaids and groomsmen are shown here!)

Step 8: Focus on the details ceremony, reception, etc.

Here is where you can start picking up little things for your ceremony, reception and more. You could even see if some of your friends have décor you could borrow or you can DIY! Refer back to your Pinterest/vision board for inspo, and MAKE WHAT YOU CAN EARLY. Do NOT procrastinate for your wedding- trust me! For me, I made all décor ahead of time (ex. signs, table garland), had a layout of the reception and ceremony in a PDF so I knew where everything went, and kept a close eye on my to-do list! Ask for help from friends and family, this could turn into a décor/wine night! Some I made is below if you want some inspo!

Step 9: Accessories, mother/father, other people in wedding

By now you should have your dress, so you need to make sure you get shoes and the jewelry you need for your big day! For me, I went with Toms wedges, so comfy and perfect for outside in the grass, and Etsy for my jewelry! they have unique affordable pieces!! You can also think about what your parents/groom’s parents/Preacher will wear so they can go ahead and make sure they start shopping for themselves! You want what they wear to flow with the bridal party so the pictures look good. (see below)

Here, my mother-in-law looks great in this golden dress along with Tyler’s grandparents flowing with the blue.

My mom and Dad- keeping trend with the blues and mom having some sparkle!

Step 10: Saves the Dates/Invitations

By this point you should definitely know who you want to invite to your wedding, so I would order save the dates and invitations! I used Minted.com for both and they turned out great! Look for major discount codes that will occur to save you bucks. I also loved this site because I could upload an excel file of all of the addresses, so they would automatically print them and my return address on the envelopes. Hello time saver!! My wedding was in June, and I sent save the dates out in Nov/Dec and invitations out in March- with a RSVP deadline at the end of April!

Step 11: Create a wedding weekend timeline, ceremony/reception layout & check in with vendors

For me, theknot.com was great for a rough draft weekend timeline- they provide this if you set up an account, and it helped me narrow down the things I needed for mine. Your wedding coordinator will also help you with this, to make sure everyone is not only where they need to be, but the little details have a plan of action. I did a whole day of the wedding from when I wake up that day to final sparkler send off- and it kept everyone on track! Also meet with other people involved- ex. your pastor to finalize the outline of the ceremony. You can also begin to think of what vows you want to write, if you are.

It is important for everyone to know their role, as your photographer, videographer, and MC will also request a timeline from you!! If you know what needs to happen at certain times= less confusion and stress for everyone. Make sure to communicate with all of your vendors, so they know their role and what you expect of them. Your vendors like caterers, tables you rent that are set up etc. will also need a layout of how you want things, so make sure to be thinking of that as well!

(ex. my layout of reception that I gave DJ, table rentals, coordinator, and caterer)

For the DJ- I started out in a word document with certain songs that I knew I wanted to play before the ceremony, during ceremony, during early reception, and later in the reception. I then sent them over to him so he could get them ready. This helps a lot by knowing exactly what you wanted, and I’m sure they will appreciate it too! If you are interested in my playlist, comment below or send me a DM on insta! I may make it public to all 😉

Step 12: Last minute check-list, pampering, packing and breathe

Ok honey.. by now.. time is surely winding down- and you may be in the final weeks before you become a Mrs. AHH- but First, breathe!! I know you will be under stress, but remember that you are not supposed to do everything yourself- if you need help- ask for it! This is what your family and bridal party is for.. even if you feel it is hard to ask for help, as I did at times.

Go over your checklist, and get someone else to look over it too to make sure you are not missing anything. Delegate different tasks to different people you know and TRUST!

Don’t forget to pack your day for your big day makeup, shoes, extra clothes, etc. as well as start packing for the honeymoon. My advice- give yourself a day to recover from the wedding before rushing on a flight- I don’t know how Tyler and I would have managed that if we didn’t give ourselves that Sunday to rest and recover! But in all cases, def. pack all that you can beforehand.

Last, don’t forget to pamper yourself- try to get your nails done and relax. If you haven’t had a hair appointment or trial for hair, makeup, I suggest doing that a few weeks before to make sure it is how you want.

Step 13: Marry your Love

The most important step. The reason you are reading this post in the first place. The union of you and your fiancé. You have waited for this day, and my best advice is to soak up every moment. Yes you will be nervous, things will have glitches, but what matters is the two of you. Embrace YOUR day. It is truly magical, you both deserve to look back and want to relive the day again and again!

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So there you have it, my bride guide. I know I did not cover every scenario or topic, that would be way too long of a post 😉 But I hope you found this helpful in many ways! If you need any other advice or have any questions, comment them below or contact me on Instagram @mellyme_! Thanks so much for reading <3 Show some love by sharing, referring a friend to my Instagram page for a follow, or commenting below. Don’t forget to follow my Pinterest for more wedding inspo!